We often see successful entrepreneurs portrayed as heartless, cold, and domineering. That’s fiction. In real life, these moguls (sometimes they’re overnight millionaires) actually achieved success through emotional intelligence as much as their genius ideas and implementation processes.

Known as EQ, emotional intelligence measures how you act and react toward people and situations. You–and your virtual assistants–need to nurture and develop it.

How does EQ come into play? Right from the start and continually. You need charisma and teamwork to make things work.

1. Self-awareness and self-control

HOW THEY WORK: The most sought-after startup tips target the self. Self-help. Self-government. Self-control.

There’s a good reason why “self-awareness” has become the newest buzzword in management.

Some studies have found that when people have an accurate reflection of themselves, they experience greater self-assurance and originality.

A five-year study by organizational psychologist Tasha Eurich found that only 10% to 15% of people are self-aware, even though 95% of people think they are.

We are better able to make rational choices, cultivate meaningful connections, and have fruitful exchanges of ideas. We have a lower propensity to steal, cheat, or lie.

Due to our superior work performance, we consistently rise through the ranks. And our companies, teams, and staff are all better off as a result of our efforts as leaders.

HOW TO WORK IT: Pause. Don’t respond immediately. Sometimes those 2-3 seconds are enough to bring clarity. Sit down with your emotions–they quiet down eventually, replaced by rationalism.

Emotions spring from thoughts. And thoughts also tamp down emotions. Learn the habit of controlling your thoughts. Practicing this pause is the first step, and practicing it all the time shrinks how long you have to pause until you’re like those business geniuses on TV.

They probably got the ‘cold’ and ‘unfeeling’ reputation from their ability to quickly process their emotions and get past them without being moved by them at all.

Virtual assistants need a healthy dose of this to keep themselves motivated despite challenging circumstances and difficult clients.

2. Optimism and Self-Motivation

HOW THEY WORK: Countless startups never even become startups because of doubt and pessimism. Startup tips are always telling you to never give up. It takes a lot of drive and persistence to launch something, to move something beyond the conception stage.

Optimism and self-motivation mean everyone is driven to deliver, eager to improve and share ideas, and to continue onward despite challenges and hurdles. There’s the initiative, and there’s the commitment to achieve what’s initiated.

HOW TO WORK IT: This is why businesses have a ‘mission’ and ‘vision’. It’s not something to impress site visitors–it’s a reminder for the business owner/s and employees (in-house and virtual assistants both) of what they’re doing and why.

People’s spirits are buoyed when they have a goal to work toward. It’s a big help in maintaining a positive vibe in the office.

If you and your independent contractors go through the motions of your day like robots, wishing for it to be over, you won’t be able to recall the mission and vision.

3. Empathy and Social Skills

HOW THEY WORK: Successful business owners exude even more charisma than elected officials. Marketing freelancers are personable and friendly. Business how-to books cover how to win and keep customers’ loyalty and many companies have empathy at their core.

When both sides have a high perception of each other’s and their clients’ needs, entrepreneurs and workers are at their most influential.

The entrepreneur appreciates and motivates his freelancers.

The freelancer knows how best to be helpful and valuable to his boss and their clients.

Businessolver® found that 84% of CEOs agree that showing empathy leads to better results in the workplace.

72% of workers say empathy affects employee motivation. Considering these numbers, it’s clear that leaders in charge of businesses need to possess the trait of empathy.

Social intelligence not only applies externally but is at its most influential internally, especially within virtual teams. Feel close together even while continents apart. Collaboration toward shared goals, teamwork and charisma, conflict management, leadership, friendship, and persuasiveness–all are manifestations of good EQ, all essential for your startup to take off.

HOW TO WORK IT: Lead by example. And find others to help you lead by example as well. This is infectious. Let caring be the unspoken but clearly-felt culture of your little virtual office.

Be an “emotional” leader

We were all thrown into a washing machine in the year 2020 and 2022. The era of autocratic leaders is over and went down the drain.

Leaders don’t use fear to motivate their followers. Instead, they use service and emotional intelligence.

• Improve collective trust. Create confidence in your team members and motivate them to do their best work. The success of any organization depends on having leaders who are capable of keeping calm under pressure and able to relate to the employees they oversee.
• Foster a constructive working environment. A better quality of life at work is a direct result of a strong company culture. Investing in creating a high-EQ team will have a positive effect on productivity and profits.
• Prompt more engagement. When EQ is a top priority at work, it fosters an atmosphere where employees feel valued and aren’t embarrassed to make mistakes. Increased productivity and success rates may result from such high levels of trust among employees.
• Mediate between parties. Those with a high EQ are less likely to get defensive when confronted with criticism and can keep their cool during a heated argument on the job. In turn, this means less time is spent arguing and more time is spent finding solutions.

If you’re looking to build your virtual team, or if you already have one, even if it’s a team of two–just you and your freelancer–evaluate for emotional intelligence. It could predict how well you’ll be moving forward, daily and in the long run.